overcome

writing because i am overcome, reading roxane gay's "an untamed state". sometimes i'm compelled to read something that is wrenching and overwhelming and all the more necessary. and doing so, sometimes i need to stop and go outside and feel cool air across my face before i can continue. it's all those words (brilliant, powerful, amazing). it also freaks me out; i remember once, being all of 13, being thrown down by half a dozen boys on an empty football field one friday night and somehow being able to walk away. do i believe in magic? in guardian angels? you bet your ass i do.

the soundtrack tonight is sharon van etten's new "are we there" which is also dark in places. and yet. 

these flowers outside remind me that with darkness comes light, with pain 
(if we're determined, blessed, relentless) 
comes healing. and beauty. it is always there, if beyond reach at times.



"distance has a way of making love more understandable" - 
sharon van etten.